Frustrated - Frustrating

So... The title of today's post pretty much sums up how I am feeling and have felt most of today! My very first post stated that I knew I am being called to greater things and that I want to use this year off from work and out of the world to really discover this and grow deeper and more intimate in my walk. Did I realize that I would so quickly get what it seems to be a checklist of where I am failing at the moment and have failed in the past.

Today I feel like my live is beginning to take a turn... Tomorrow is my birthday and I feel like God has huge things in store for this year. So He started it off a day early by probing my brain forcing me to be uncomfortable with life. (Normally I have girlfriends who help to work my thoughts out into words but NONE of my friends were free today to answer phones or come for a visit so if this post is garbled I'm sorry).

I guess I am urked with where spritually I am at the moment. I feel a little bit complacent and I am now bothered by this but am hoping that maybe a good night sleep and fresh start to my day will help to bring some clarity to my situation.

I am being challenged with a couple of questions and as I seek for answers and guidance I ask for prayer.

1. Why did I quit Bible school? Should I work to finish what I started?

2. Spiritually in MY home what is God asking of me? How can I help Gabriel lead without leading?

blah.. thats what my brain says now.. so as I continue to work out my faith I hope and pray that as I go on this journey of discovery that I would only become more refined and holy!

My boys/man monkeying aroudn

Sammy snoozing through dinner hour

horsey ride!!!!

We are sooo excited...

On Monday I thought this day would NEVER COME... or not anytime soon.. Caleb I believe is well on his way to wearing underwear on a daily basis and has only had one accident every day since Wednesday! :)

What a relief. I stepped back.. took a breathe and just embraced that if it wasn't this week I would try another one.. no biggie.

Friday night we surprised Caleb and took him to meet Grammy at McDonalds for a cheeseburger and a play in the play place. Grammy brought him a HUGE bag filled with treats for everytime he went to the potty. She is wonderful.

He is now able to go all by himself without me taking him. He gets up and down and washes his hands no probs. Tonight even we had a diaper on him because he was supposed to be in bed nad he came out and went to the potty. WOOP WOOP.

I think this will be my last post about potty training until he keeps his diaper dry through the night.

yes a scarf and underwear is how he chose to roll that day!!!

Potty Training!

Monday morning I woke up feeling quite tired and irritable and should have postponed the potty school for the day but trudged on. I really should have waited.... We were having a good morning but just as I was making lunch Caleb decided to wet his pants 30 seconds(literally) after he got down from the potty after sitting there for a couple of minutes. In frustration I got mad and slung a diaper on him and quit.

I did not know what else to do... I knew I was tired and felt bad for becoming angry at my 2.5yr old when he still doesnt fully understand or know the feelings to his body yet. While he napped that day I googled and googled and read and read about what I could possibly do to make this a little less painful for me and everyone else involved.

When I went to bed on Monday evening I decided I wasnt going to push. I was going to let Caleb lead and see what happened. And I wasnt going to ask"do you need to go pee" I was going to say "lets go try" or as I was doing all afternoon "Caleb go try and go pee". He loved this I didnt follow him in there or anything I just told him not to flush because I am still needing to see the evidence to believe that this is happening.

So Tuesday morning started off with an accident but we changed clothes and headed out for Library time. When we got to the library I took him to go pee and with that he peed. I told him since he peed I would take him for a lollipop ( he had been asking for one for weeks). And ever since he has been peeing.. ofcourse with many accidents in between but this evening as I was making dinner he came and said "Mom I need to go pee", so I know the wheels are turning and am hoping that as we head out in the morning for woman's walk that we can get through it with clean and dry underpants.

wish us luck ... and if you can pray for me! This is exhausting.. :)

A dreary Weary Monday

I was really hoping that today would lack in the rain department and just maybe give us some glorious sunshine but no.. just cold cold rain.

WE are all cozy today.. hoping not to have to leave the house for anything. Maybe bake this afternoon because I have been craving Cinnamon buns that I baked a couple Saturdays ago. They are delish and today would be a day when I would have the patience to let them rise nice and puffy.

I found the recipe here . And trust me if you make these load up on the butter cinnamon and brown sugar! mmm......

Pictures into my world

I am really tired and hoping to get a couple of hours of sleep before Sammy is up again to feed, but wanted to post some pics from yesterday and today!

Caleb in Daddy's rain boots... dont really know the obsession but he loves to wear them!

Another take of the kid in boots :)

Sammy having tummy time due to a bum rash that has broken the skin! Not a happy camper

How I found Caleb when I went in to tuck him in!

And with his daddy passed out right beside him. He knows I wont sleep with him but daddy is a sucker!

Single Parenting - unofficially!

So this weekend is the first weekend that my hubby is spending it filming since Sammy was born. I have a love hate relationship with his filming. I love that he is spending his time investing is his career, doing something that he loves. I love how he comes home happy, contented and rejuvenated. BUT I hate that his day can be as long as 18hrs, that he is unable to answer phone calls.. even if it is an emergancy and that my days seem to drag on forever never knowing when relief or rescue is coming :)

But I am glad that tomorrow is a shorter day for him and that Sunday will be longer but def not 18hrs.

I am also on a mad hunt for a new Soother for Samuel. When he was born my sister Laura gave him 3 Soothies! These are fantastic. He loves them and took them right away. Unfortunately Caleb has bitten holes in 2 and I lost the other one after Woman's Walk on Thursday! Now if this was a normal soother I would just be able to go to a store and replace it but these are only for sale online and for $12.99. So do I replace it .. or suffer until he forgets he had one? It is the perfect plug for him and calms him down almost immediately. BAHHH

So I will let you know the adventures that we get up to this weekend. I have promised Caleb a tea party, a trip to the library - so I can find books on potty training, and if the weather is nice a trip to the park and if not MAYBE swimming.

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Bathtime Routines with Sammy!

Having a 2nd child has caused to have to revamp our whole bedtime/bathtime routine. I feel a little bit sorry for Sammy because when Caleb was an infant he had a bath atleast once a day. Both boys enjoy the water so I used to plunk Caleb in his hammock style baby bath and away he would go. This time around I barely seem to have time to shower myself let alone a baby who does not appear to be overly dirty! Up until this past week Sammy would get a bath 2 times a week IF he was lucky.

Sunday morning I discovered after he spat up everywhere that the bathroom sink was the perfect place for a quick bath without having to pull a bunch of stuff out and Caleb is able to be involved without me being paranoid of turning to grab something and him drowning the baby.

I have bathed him every evening at the same time as Caleb and last night we were even able to sneak him into the bath for a few quick pics. He loves it... but I have found the the water slowly leaks out under the drain so I some how need to fix this problem but it is a quick 5 min activity that makes me feel like a better mom for having a clean baby!

My year of Maternity leave!

I am so excited to join the blogger world and to be able to share life, thoughts and discoveries with all of you. I have always enjoyed writing and journaled through most of my teens and earlies 20's.

The thought of blogging has been on my mind but life has been crazy. During the last year I barely had time to breathe and think let alone sit down and spill out my thoughts, life and my adventures.

BUT HERE I AM! SO FOR MY FIRST POST HERE WE GO!!!!!!

We have a new member of our family Samuel Roy Gabriel, born December 16th 2010.

It is crazy for me to enter back into the crazy turmoil of having a newborn once again. He is simply wonderful. Infact I feel like I could have another baby tomorrow. This transition has been quite smooth for Caleb. He loves, adores and protect his little brother and I love seeing him interact with Sammy.

I began maternity leave on Dec 8th and have been really seeking and praying to discover what God has instore for me this year. I know how quickly the year off flies by and really would love to make the most of this time spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I would really like to determine and be shown what the next couple of years look like. I feel that I am being asked to look back to pre children, pre marriage, pre Gabriel, when it was just me and remember my passions and the desires that were prominent in my heart then. I do not know if my heart has changed or if God has changed those desires but I really would like to discover this.

I know that I once felt called to ministry and to serving... not just to Starbucks and to motherhood.

Anyone who reads this if they could pray that I would be directed in this seeking.

Caleb is quickly approaching his 3rd birthday and this milestone is a shocker. I look at Sammy and it seems like just yesterday this was Caleb. I want to stop the clock, and capture every single moment that these boys share with me. The huge task I am tackling with Caleb is trying to potty training. I did not want to take on this huge job while I was still working so I put it off until NOW. HOW AWEFUL THIS JOB IS. The first day we attempted to use the potty was great. He went pee every single time I put him on the potty and only wet in his pants. Yesterday was horrid. He wet his pants three times in a row so I quit. Today He was dry all morning then bang wet his pants right after I asked him if he needed to pee. So I quit it for today. Any suggestions of what to do are very welcome over here. I know I can not turn back especially with the success I had the first day with him.

So Caleb and potty training is something else that needs to be tackled during my year off!! HOW WONDERFUL!

Anyways... I am excited for this year off.. and can not wait for spring and summer. God has great things instore for us Zamora's and this year will be amazing!